Writing

(Be)coming clean.

20140316-171233.jpg

Paradox.

I am clean, and I am coming clean, and I am becoming clean.

Clean/pure. Spiritually speaking.

I think coming clean about dirt is the most beautiful way we become clean.

Been judging someone, stop, maybe they’re a beautiful soul.

Been lying about something, tell the truth, it will bring you closer to the other person in ways that lies could never.

Easier said than done. We perceive the ugliness of our dirt to be more dirty than it is. It’s a lie we tell ourselves, that our dirt is so bad we could never expose it.

Expose it.

To live with integrity you must have honesty.

No one gets through a day without getting dirty, so what makes your dirt the worst?

Spiritually coming clean requires connection. Make the connection and let all of it go.

Coming clean with other humans is hard, but so worth it.

I’d rather be the girl who falls on her face every day and admits it than the girl who falls on her face everyday and hides. Either way you fall.

Clean.
(Be)coming clean.
I am coming clean.
Clean.

I’m impatient.
I’m a gossip.
I’m broken.
I’m uptight.
I’m a shopper.
And I’m also pure.

I’m loving, joyful, peaceful, patient, kind, good, faithful, and self controlled, and I’m not.

Just coming clean.

Standard
Learning, Life

Sunrise.

20130503-053740.jpg

For the past week I have been increasingly enjoying the sunrise. Each new day begins with such a beautiful, majestic, but yet still quiet display of Gods power. I’ve been taking my cup of coffee and a chair from the living room and putting it front of my east-facing kitchen window to watch the sun come up over the mountains, and it is truly breathtaking.

This morning it was more than beautiful though. My mom heard God say to her that He really was our only hope, in worship last week. She emphasized as she told me and the congregation about it, that it wasn’t a desperate thing (“you’re my only hope!!!”) but more of a realization of how really He is everything, and our lives (as children of God saved by the blood of Christ) should pour out of that realization. He’s our only hope, our only song, our only peace, our only understanding. This morning as I watched the majestic sunrise I had that confirmed to me by God. He was displaying his power and beauty, in something that happens everyday. “I’ve given you the sun today, keep your eyes on me, I am ruler of everything, I will sustain you, I will bring you peace and hope.”

A dear friend of mine is battling a cancer that has left the doctors with no hope. She is our pastors wife, a mother of two young children and a beautiful soul. My heart has been breaking daily for her. It seems as though I am so weak that the only things I have are distractions. If I distract myself I don’t have to think about it, and when I’m not distracted, it’s all I can think about. Of course I can’t do this on my own, and yet my head is trying to. God is telling me that He is the only source of hope. I don’t have to distract myself I just have to keep my eyes on the sunrise.

Yesterday my mom shared a link to a sermon that dealt with times in your life when everything is falling apart (listen to it here) and the point that was highlighted to me was that the Bible is riddled with struggles, riddled with sudden miraculous works of God, and that although there were lots of struggles, all of those struggles had an end. Every struggle has a beginning a middle and an end. We’re in the middle and it’s hard, and I need to pray for perseverance, trusting that God will and always has worked things for good, even if I don’t understand them. I need to continue through this hip deep mud, staring at God and praying for perseverance. I can distract myself, but it won’t get me out of the mud. God is the only one who can pull me up and out and into hope, and when he does, it will more than likely be suddenly.

Praise God!

Standard